unfolding into JOY

Advice from Yoda

Most of us grew up hearing things over and over again. "Nobody will like you if you make such a fuss." or "Your sister is the beauty and you are the brains." In your case it might have been something different but whatever it was, the fact is that as small children we hear things and we take them at face value. They sink into our malleable psyches as if they were new laws of physics.

One of the pseudo truths i heard as a small child was, "you have a gift for drawing and your sister has a beautiful voice." Guess where that left me. Exactly! I assumed that my voice must not be beautiful. And my sister probably assumed that drawing was not for her. Now imagine the repercussions of hearing that someone else is the beauty. If you are a woman, chances are that it undermines your self-confidence greatly.

Based on a line that might have been casually uttered without much thought, we begin to cement beliefs about ourselves that stay with us for a lifetime—unless we question them. But why would we question any of our beliefs? Usually, we are not even aware that they are beliefs—we take them for facts and may say "No, i can't sing. I do not have a good voice."

Imagine how decades went by without me ever daring to sing. Then, one time when i was in a particularly happy mood, i sang a silly German kids song, leaving self doubt out in the cold. My husband thought it was hilarious and had nothing negative to say about my voice. I experimented more with my voice and began to find joy in singing.

As children, we take everything at face value, and we gobble it up like ice cream. Whether an adult is thoughtless or wise, we cannot always tell the difference. But once a belief is cemented into us, what can we do? Even if it would be easy to change the belief, the tricky thing is that we are usually blind to such beliefs. Whatever they are, we take them as a law of physics—unaware that they can even be questioned.

So, the first challenge is to detect these beliefs. Oftentimes, an astute coach can spot them right away. Then it is as Jedi Master Yoda said to Luke in the Empire Strikes Back: "You must unlearn what you have learned." With a good coach, that's not as daunting as you may think. To be more successful and happier in the world it is a good idea to follow Yoda's advice.

May the force be with you!

Are you ready to make more room for the untamed authentic you so that joy can radiate in and out more easily? Drop me a note at eva_at_evaruland.com to schedule a free 15 minute consultation to talk about how i can help you and determine whether we are a good fit.




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Eva has been my coach for one and a half years. She has helped (and continues to help) me to become clear and see what I really want and need in my life. With Eva as my coach I have manifested more than I ever expected.
Chris C., Pennsylvania